Numerous reports are coming in that local man Wyatt King is skeptical whether the world is ready to see him in the sunglasses he is trying on in Bivouac.
Although the sunglasses flattered his face and were within his price range, King took pause at the thought that they might be met with public outrage.
“Sure, they look pretty good,” said King, “but I just don’t know if now is the time.”
Bystanders were confused by the weight with which King considered the decision.
“That guy tried those sunglasses on like 15 different times,” said cashier Becca Hamilton. “He just kept putting them on and staring in the mirror for a couple minutes, then putting them down and pacing around the store pretending to look at other stuff.”
“I will say, though,” continued Hamilton, “the way those shades blend smoothly modern design with a more natural coloration and texture is very ahead of its time. I can see how pulling the trigger on this purchase would give someone pause.”
King told reporters that the browline sunglasses looked good in theory, but it “wouldn’t be practical” to shell out $15, opting instead to continue wearing the plastic sunglasses he got for free from his bank three summers ago.
“Not to mention,” rationalized King, “I don’t want to make too big a statement with my eyewear. I’ve never been the kind of guy who pushes the envelope too hard with my specs.”
King ultimately left the store without making a purchase, leaving questions about the world’s open-mindedness unanswered.
