Michigan Basketball Opens Season With 212–6 Win Over Local YMCA Team

At least they gave it their best shot.

After a 2017-18 season highlighted by a Big Ten Tournament win and a trip to the NCAA Tournament finals, the University of Michigan basketball team began their 2018-19 campaign with a convincing win over the Washtenaw County YMCA Youth League squad.

“I’m real proud of how the guys played tonight,” relayed head coach John Beilein. “Our passes were crisp, our shots were falling, and our defense was absolutely smothering. If we manage to play like that come Big Ten season, there’s no doubt in my mind we’ll have another banner or two to hang this time next year.”

Members of the Michigan basketball team were similarly pleased with the 206-point win.

“This is what we practice for all offseason,” said sophomore guard Jordan Poole. “It just felt like a great team performance every minute we were on the floor—From us starters who set the tone early, down to the walk-ons who got some playing time once we went up by 180.”

Opposing coach and local IT administrator Ken Wiley, who volunteers to coach the local youth team in his spare time, reported feeling proud of his team’s effort even in the face of the disastrously lopsided result.

“Sometimes, when you get outthere on the court, your team is just athletically outmatched, and you have to take one on the chin,” explained Wiley. “It’s a lesson these young men I coach have to learn someday. Heck, I’m sure back when those Michigan players were ten years younger, a hundred pounds lighter, and two feet shorter, they took a few tough losses as well. It’ll force you to grow as a basketball player and as a person.”

Despite the epic drubbing, Michigan assistant coach Luke Yaklich sought to temper the team’s enthusiasm.

“It’s great to get that first W under our belt and set the tone for the rest of the season, but we didn’t put outa perfect product tonight,” warned Yaklich. “Two separate times, they were able to find gaps in our zone for easy baskets, and by the end of the game it looked like they were starting to key in on our pick and roll screens. And that’s not to mention the foul trouble some of our guys got into when they simply ran over the other team’s players in transition. We’ve got to clean that stuff up.”

Reports from inside the program indicate that the team is working hard for Saturday’s matchup against Holy Cross, a team that some reporters claim to be “a marginal step-up in difficulty” compared to the local YMCA kids.

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