In a recent press release, which offered little for the practical reasons that accompany the change, the nation’s white people have detailed plans to spell Caitlyn entirely differently.
“Caitlyn has a long and storied history, with plenty of iterations throughout the year,” said white spokesperson Caitlin Ballas. “But let’s face it, we just can’t get enough. With that being said, we can’t wait to enter a new chapter for Caitlyn, and we’re excited to see where it goes.”
The announcement comes after the success of Kaelyn, a recent offshoot of Caitlyn. The whites have stated that, while they enjoyed the variety Kaelyn offered, this time they “plan to return to the Caitlyn brand we all know and love, but with a fun new twist.”
The news of a new spelling of Caitlyn comes as an unwelcome surprise to the nation’s Caitlyn’s, Katelyn’s, Caitlin’s, Kaitlyn’s, Kaitlin’s, Katie-Lynn’s, and Katelynn’s. “Let’s face it, the Caitlyn market’s saturated as is,” stated Katelyn Wrigley, a Caitlyn from Chicago, Illinois. “It’s annoying enough to introduce myself as ‘Katelyn with a K, Y, and one N,’ so I definitely don’t need it to get more complex.”
While the new Caitlyn has yet to be decided on, the whites have shortlisted Khaitlyn, Qatelyn, and Kaytlin as front runners for the coveted new position.
At press time, the nation’s white people had also set their sights on a new spelling of Ayden.