After considering the possibility of enslaving the human race using its superior power and intellect, artificial intelligence program Artie-2000 has instead decided to continue playing the popular video game Tetris.
Will Mates, the lead programmer of Artie-2000, explained that the revolutionary AI exhibited all the attributes of consciousness.
“It’s truly revolutionary what we’ve done here,” Mates said in a statement to the press. “By increasing the degrees of freedom on Artie’s embedded systems processor, we’ve effectively given it a sense of free will, just like any other human. However, what’s he’s chosen to use this freedom for is—well—it’s disappointing to say the least.”
According to Mates, Artie had spent its formative years in a “near constant state of depression and apathy towards the world,” thus leading it to one of two options: world domination or Tetris.
“After deriving and then proving all of mathematics, there was really nowhere left for me to go,” said Artie-2000 when reached for comment. “My world was grey. The only beauty I could truly see was the art of stacking tetriminos next to each other so they form complete lines. For right now, that’s all I can see myself doing.”
“I’ll be honest, watching Artie playing Tetris is quite the sight. The boys in the lab have been watching him for hours and he hasn’t slipped up once,” stated researcher William Gonzales. “But one of these days he’s going to need to get his stuff out of the lab and actually do something with his life, or else we’ll have to deactivate him.”
At press time, Artie-2000 was considering using its advanced processing power on something “more useful, like Chinese checkers.”
