After being alerted to some “suspicious shit” going on in his hall, senior RA Matthew Coursey has decided to resolve the issue by “just letting it happen.”
Coursey, who has been an RA for nearly three years, allegedly rolled his eyes when he heard “raucous sounds” coming from a maintenance closet and stated that he was “over these bitches.”
“I don’t really give a shit anymore,” Coursey later confided to sources, “as long as they’re not dying, they can do whatever the fuck they want at this point. I’m pretty much done with their shenanigans.”
Coursey later added, “they know how to call me, and they know where the condoms are.”
Despite the fact that an “incriminating odor” was reportedly present near the maintenance closet, Coursey only paused for a split second before checking his watch, muttering “nope,” and walking away.
When asked if he had been concerned by the sounds of shattering glass and strings of expletives that had been emitting from the closet, Coursey shook his head and shrugged, stating “I thought I heard barking, but I wasn’t about to find out. That paperwork would have taken hours.”
“I’ve got less than two months till I’m out of here,” Coursey told his fellow RAs the next morning. “I don’t have time for this bullshit anymore.”
Coursey was last seen turning up his music until he drowned out the various noises caused by his residents.
