University of Michigan freshman Liam Cross, 19, is reportedly thrilled with the romantic relationship developing between him and his lab partner, Sophia Lane.
Sources close to him report his only complaint with their burgeoning relationship is that because she is so artfully succinct she rarely ever needs to text him more than a word.
According to other students in the class, Cross has been infatuated with Lane since the beginning of the semester. Jacob Castor, a fellow freshman enrolled in CHEM 101, recalled overhearing a conversation between Cross and Lane where he described “the divine seating chart algorithm” that paired them up as “not mere serendipity but destiny.” Castor then stated “I’m not sure Sophia heard him but she might have mumbled something while she was swiping through profiles on Tinder.”
Cross reports being “blown away by her economy of words” but that her “effortless flair for concision”often leaves him wanting more. He recalled one “flirty” exchange they’d had the previous week where he asked her “what are you up to this weekend?” and she responded “plans.”
At press time, Cross explained that “Sophia has taken her flirtatious brevity to a tantalizing new level” by simply using the setting on her phone to show him that she has read the message while not responding. “This girl really knows how to push all the right buttons. She’s always leaving me begging for more.”