In a heartbreaking turn of events, local man Jimmy Isbell was found dead in his living room after tragically having too much of a good thing.
Isbell, who was known to indulge in good things every once in a while, found himself at the mercy of the massive quantity of a good thing late Wednesday afternoon.
“His is a cautionary tale,” said EMT Sam Richardson, who was the first to arrive at the scene. “The sheer amount of the good thing found in his system was an amount no person should ever even think of having.”
Those close to Isbell reportedly knew about his relationship with the good thing but “never thought he would have too much, too fast.”
“This is a real wake-up call,” said Isbell’s neighbor Jackson Kalman. “I used to indulge in a bit of the good thing with Jimmy back in the day. But that much of the good thing? Now that’s just too much. You have to know your limits when it comes to good things, and unfortunately Jimmy slipped up that day. By the grace of God, I’m lucky that wasn’t me.”
While the results of the autopsy are still under review, it is believed that the main cause of death was mixing two different types of good things. “You’d be forgiven for thinking that multiple good things together would add up to a really good thing,” said coroner Lindsey Hopkins. “In reality, however, it’s far from a good thing. It’s more of a bad thing, actually, especially in poor Jimmy’s case.”