Telling you that he totally hears what you’re saying while steamrolling over your words, sources closely monitoring the situation have reported that “look,” area man Tod Simmons “totally gets it.”
“I’m gonna stop you right there,” said Simmons, who ostensibly discerned that the middle of your sentence was the perfect moment to reach full comprehension, “I want you to listen to this. I understand.”
“This reminds me of my own experience,” said Simmons, taking the occasion of your experience to blindly recount an unrelated episode from his own life. Eyewitnesses were able to confirm that the man was able to empathize and identify with your situation without listening to so much as one sentence out of your mouth.
“Sometimes it’s better to listen than to talk, and this is a lesson that Tod likes to talk about at length to strangers who are unlucky enough to be caught in a conversation with him,” Mary Nathanson, close friend of Simmons, told reporters.
Other witnesses were also able to confirm that Simmons “sees where you’re coming from” and that it is better to just get it through your head that he understands every facet of your situation before trying to explain any of it to him.
“After two or three words in a conversation it becomes pretty clear that there is nothing you can explain to Tod that he does not already know,” said friend and roommate of Simmons, Dev Singh.
At press time, Simmons was seen giving unsolicited customer service advice to a cashier.
