According to a new report from Netflix’s content recommendation algorithms, it is a “mathematical certainty” that the service’s latest cooking show will be a smash hit among the nation’s tub- tubs.
The streaming giant’s analytics report revealed that of the millions of recommendations its algorithm makes, none are more accurate than food-related content to its plumper viewers.
The report states, “It doesn’t matter what it is. Documentary, mini-series, cooking competition, or just Gordon Ramsay verbally abusing nine-year-olds in an industrial kitchen. Whatever the newest cooking show is, these chunksters are going to eat it up.”
The nation’s roly-polies have confirmed that nothing brings them joy quite like a Netflix push notification for a new episode of “The Big Family Deep Fried Jamboree.”
A spokesperson for the company told reporters “It’s just too easy. We have a show where we put GoPros on everyone who enters this Cheesecake Factory and live stream them eating more saturated fat than a small town should eat in a year.”
At press time, a Netflix spokeswoman stated the company was hopeful its new true crime series would be a hit among the nation’s soon-to-be serial killers.