Reports from a local elementary school have arisen to allege that Lucas Pearson, who is widely described by his classmates as being “weird,” was spotted yesterday eating a lunch that was widely described by his classmates as being “equally weird.”
“Lucas P.? Yeah I’d say he’s pretty weird,” commented fellow second grader Ashley Harris. “Lucas likes to keep to himself most of the time, and I’ve pretty much only seen him talk to the olives he likes to wear as finger puppets when he’s sitting alone in the cafeteria. So I can’t say I was surprised to see him eating that… thing he was eating yesterday.”
Witnesses report that Lucas’s lunch yesterday consisted of what looked like a portabello mushroom and pimento cheese sandwich topped with a watered-down mayonnaise. Lucas is said to have removed the pimentos from the cheese and eaten them separately from the rest of the sandwich.
“I don’t want to ask,” said Lucas’s teacher and lunch room monitor Ms.Libby. “But part of me wonders whether his parents happen to pack him that weird of a lunch every day, or if they pack it specifically upon request.”Ms. Libby later added, “I guess either would make sense. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, so to speak.”
At press time, Lucas was seen mixing his cottage cheese with his applesauce before eating his raisins with a spoon.
