Blue Bus Dies In Captivity

Researchers argue that the bus would have lived a better life in the wild.

Sources report that a Bursley-Baits bus, which was born into captivity of the University, died early Sunday morning.

University researchers report that the tragic passing has raised important ethical questions about whether blue buses should be raised by humans or remain in the wild.

“These buses wouldn’t survive in the wild,” claimed University bus driver Adam Clove, who has cared for the Bursley-Baits bus since it was born. “They’d be eaten alive by 18-wheelers and monster trucks. For their whole lives, they’ve relied on us for gas and oil.”

Clove also had a close relationship with the bus’s mother, even being present in the auto shop where she delivered her late son.

Sources confirm the Bursley-Baits bus died of natural causes surrounded by its friends and family. It maintained a normal lifespan of ten years, which is, according to Clove, at least five longer than it would have lived in the wild.

Some university employees, however, are skeptical about the ethics of keeping buses locked in garages.

“It’s automobile cruelty,” said University researcher Harold Simons. “They’re kept locked up for hours each day with little living space. If people really wanted to support these creatures, they would visit a sanctuary, go on a safari, or ride a bike.”

Engineer Megan Stevenson disagreed with Draker, arguing that “the buses are happy and healthy with adequate space to roam and graze.”

Amongst the controversy, University engineers claim all of their buses are “grass-fed and antibiotic-free” and that they will still be capturing and rescuing buses in coming months.

Others have claimed that removing blue buses from the wild will give them a status as an endangered species.

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