In an attempt to provide her family’s home with a fall-inspired ambience, area mom Janet Delaney reportedly smeared the innards of a pumpkin on her walls for Thanksgiving decor.
“I just wanted to liven the house up in preparation for the holiday, and what says Thanksgiving more than the wet guts of a ripe pumpkin?” commented Delaney, as she plunged her hands into the opening of the pumpkin, grabbing another handful of orange bowels and loose seeds. “I love the way it looks after I give the guts a swift, violent splatter against the wall. It also leaves this pungent, rotting squash smell in the house that makes you think of fall.”
Sources confirmed that the pumpkin innards brutally smashed against walls are surrounded by a variety of other Thanksgiving-themed decorations, such as festive wreaths, warmly toned leaves, and apple cinnamon-scented candles, all of which were lightly covered in the moist fragments of the splattered gourd.
When asked for comment, other members of the household were happy to weigh in on the squash furnishing.
“I love what Janet does with the house during the holidays,” claimed Matthew Delaney, husband of Janet. “Usually it’s just the mason jars filled with red and orange leaves, but I guess she decided to up the ante this year with pumpkin seeds in the couch cushions.”
Multiple witnesses have confirmed that after viciously slathering the pumpkin innards, Delaney cooked the seeds that fell off the wall as a snack for her son, who described the flavor as “balanced, but a little drywall-y.”
At press time, Delaney revealed her plans to hang severed reindeer heads around the house as part of her Christmas decorations this December.
