Racist Grandma Remembered As Inspiring, Loving Woman

Her eulogy noted that her house’s walls were lined with beautiful family photos and Confederate flags.

Despite area grandmother ShirleyJacobson’s lifelong history of hating anyone who is not white, Jacobson is being eulogized as a compassionate, admirable woman.

At Jacobson’s funeral, which took place this past Monday, mourners described the black-hater as a“passionate, strong woman who always stood up for what she believed in.”

“My mother was the most caring person in my life, and the world is a worse place without her,” said Alana Jacobsen about the woman who used the n-word every other sentence.

Although Jacobson once called the police on an innocent black man whom she dubbed “suspicious,”there was not a dry eye in her entire all-white funeral.

“My grandma was the best grandma in the whole world,” said eight-year-old Tyler Jacobson, completely neglecting to consider his other grandma, who didn’t wear blackface only two years ago.

When asked about her most admirable qualities during life, people who knew Jacobson have mentioned how funny she was, ignoring that most of her jokes were at the expense of immigrants.

“Shirley was the life of every party and gathering,” said friend of the family Henry Walters, reminiscing about all the desserts she made last Thanksgiving but blocking out when she said she was thankful for the “pure Jacobson bloodline.”

At press time, friends and loved ones continued to mourn Jacobson with the sincerity that she mourned the result of Brown v. Board of Education.

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