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The Arb Is Lovely This Time Of Year

Hey man, have you been to the Arb yet this year? Yeah, I know it’s...

  • Feb 27, 2020

I Thought You Liked When I Did That

Wait, babe, I thought you were cool with that? I swear, I totally...

  • Feb 27, 2020

I’m At The End Of My Rope

I simply can’t take it any longer. Every time I try to walk a few...

  • Feb 27, 2020

9 Out Of 10 Dentists Don’t Know Shit About Colgate

Alright fuckers, you might not hear this from us often, but shut your...

  • Feb 27, 2020

Michael Bloomberg Buys White House

Sources have confirmed that former New York City mayor and 2020...

  • Feb 27, 2020

Pete Buttigieg Alarmed To Learn Of LGBTQ Community’s Long History Of Resistance

Sources at a Pete Buttigieg rally in New Hampshire last weekend...

  • Feb 27, 2020

Crying Girl Cries Harder After Realizing She Going To Look All Swollen From Crying

Numerous witnesses have corroborated that crying girl Cindy Schommer...

  • Feb 27, 2020

Kid With Rolling Backpack Running To Bus

Sources are confirming that last Tuesday, following Parkview Middle...

  • Feb 27, 2020

Bar Mitzvah Boy Being Lifted In Chair Unaware It All Downhill From Here

Sources have confirmed that this past Saturday, as Bar Mitzvah boy...

  • Feb 27, 2020

Gritty New Minions Sequel To Be Set In Soviet Russia

In a recent press release, Universal Pictures has announced plans to...

  • Feb 27, 2020

Study Finds Majority Of Sex Ed Learned By Talking To Older Kids At Summer Camp

A recent study into childhood development has found that the majority...

  • Feb 27, 2020

Animal Rights Activist Chains Himself To Bear

Last week, outspoken animal rights activist Marcus Ryan saw conflict...

  • Feb 27, 2020
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