• No menu assigned!
"Better than sex,
   twice as often."
The Every Three Weekly
  • Campus
  • National
  • World
  • Sports
  • Opinion
  • Infographics
  • The Click House
  • Encyclopedia
  • Newsletter

Food Fetishist Knows Exactly How to Use Nerds Rope

Charles Wiggins, a local man self-identifying as an auto-erotic food...

  • Mar 3, 2020

Report: Banana Not Opening From Other End Either

Witnesses in Mosher-Jordan dining hall have confirmed that LSA...

  • Mar 3, 2020

Stand-Up Comic Performs Exact Same Routine On Tuesdays At 2:30 With Mental Health Professional

Sources have confirmed that, in addition to performing his standard...

  • Mar 3, 2020

Washtenaw Hermit Crab Gets Up And Leaves

Witnesses have confirmed that the enormous hermit crab residing...

  • Mar 3, 2020

Classmate’s Midday iPhone Alarm Clearly For Her Birth Control

This week, multiple students in a History 321 lecture reported their...

  • Mar 3, 2020

Giant Flock Of Crows Just Waiting For Signal

  • Mar 3, 2020

Cute Couple Gets Matching Bronchitis

Reports indicate that notoriously adorable couple Jerry Gilmore and...

  • Mar 3, 2020

South Quad Dining Hall Replaced With Economically Efficient 250-Foot Trough

In an effort to increase efficiency in the coming 2020–21 academic...

  • Mar 3, 2020

Report: Skeeps Card Fastest Route To A Good Time, Chlamydia

Sources at Ann Arbor’s Scorekeepers Bar and Grill are confirming...

  • Mar 3, 2020

Humanity Win! This Woman Bought Lunch For The Homeless Man Outside Her Work Place And Then Absolutely Drenched It In Hot Sauce

It’s hard to find true acts of humanity in today’s modern world,...

  • Mar 3, 2020

Area Man Bad At Texting Asks To See Woman’s Bobs

Last week, local technologically inept man Jason Wheeler reportedly...

  • Mar 3, 2020

Area Men Filling Out All-You-Can-Eat Sushi Menu Like Framers Drafting Constitution

Witnesses have confirmed that a group of male diners at...

  • Mar 3, 2020
  • 1
  • 2
1 OF 2

COPYRIGHT 2016 E3W. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  • About
  • Apply To Join The Every Three Weekly
  • Contact
  • Encyclopedia
  • Home
  • Legal Disclaimer
  • Newsletter