Report: Shitty Weather Just Icing On Cake At This Point

The forecast of clouds and drizzle was slightly too on the nose for the already despondent country.

Amidst a global pandemic, meteorologists have concluded that Ann Arbor’s current weather, averaging in the mid-40s and cloudy, is just the icing on the cake right about now.

“It’s my professional opinion that the current climate situation in AnnArbor is just a good ol’ fashioned ‘fuck you’ from Mother Nature,”claimed local weatherman AndySykes. “People are dying. Families are in isolation. And you know what? The weather sucks, too.”

Forecasters have rationalized the suboptimal conditions by explaining that this time of year is nearly always dreary, and the current weather is to be expected. Angry citizens, though, have lashed out against such claims.

“I’m sitting here in quarantine 24/7. The least God could do is have the sun come out at this point,”complained enraged local mother Clara Hawkins.

Others were quick to add that even if the weather were pleasant, no one would be allowed to go outside anyway.

At press time, Ann Arbor could not be seen through the dense gray clouds.

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