Area Woman Shocked To Learn That Politicians Not Her Friends

female politician in blue suit and pearls gesticulating
Abby was reportedly shocked to find out about Nancy Pelosi’s stance on the Green New Deal.

Reports are confirming that Abby Timms, 31, is “shocked and confused”at the realization that her favorite politicians are not trying to be her friend.

“It all started when I found out that Elizabeth Warren and Nancy Pelosi accept donation money from some pretty sleazy organizations,” Timms recalled. “These are women that I could picture myself having a glass of rosé with, and to think that they’re not actively working in my best interest at all times was a shock to the system.”

Timms, a self-proclaimed feminist, has had to confront some of her past experiences. “When I bought my ‘A Woman’s Place is in the House and theSenate’ shirt from Amazon, I thought I was supporting a cause I really believed in, so to find out that some of these women aren’t really girlbosses is pretty disappointing.”

“It’s been a pretty tough time for her,” commented Abby’s sister Ella.“I know she’s been looking back through some of the infographics she posted on Instagram and feeling really embarrassed about some of them.”

At press time, Timms was considering moving her “Nasty Woman” shirt and pink pussy hat into storage.

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