Earlier this week, video footage surfaced of Portland police officerEric Sampson crying in solidarity with the protesters after teargas he had thrown at them was subsequently thrown back.
The grainy cell phone footage of Officer Sampson shows him throwing a tear gas canister into a crowd and then the canister being thrown back, at which point he starts to cough and shed some sympathetic tears.
“Some people are calling me a hero,” said Officer Sampson, who was given a raise and a gas mask after the incident. “But I’m not a hero. I just understand that when orthochlorobenzalmalononitrile makes contact with skin, it causes a burning sensation that forces the tear ducts to produce tears. Really though, I am just like the protesters, equally affected by everything that is happening.”
The Portland Police Bureau quickly seized the video as evidence that officers have feelings too and are truly sympathizing with protesters.
“I’m very proud of Officer Sampson.” said Portland police chief Chuck Lovell. “It can be hard to allow yourself to express emotion, especially as a member of law enforcement but he did it. It is truly inspirational.”
At press time, the single mother of three that had thrown the canister was sentenced to 45 years in prison.