Reports from across the country have concluded that teachers’ pets have adapted to the transition to Zoom classes by “abusing” the app’s chat function.
Statistics have shown that remarks of ‘that is so interesting!’ ‘how are you doing today Professor?,’ ‘wow!’ and ‘cool!’ have increased three hundred percent since the University’s switch to Zoom classes.
“I get students in my classical civilization class all the time saying things like, ‘that’s such a cool background, Professor!’” remarked professor Oscar Leland. “Like, my background is literally just the Colosseum. The most famous Classical building of all time. Find something else to kiss ass about why don’t you.”
“In a normal class, you at least have to wait to call on a teacher’s pet,” economics professor Ray Hyatt lamented. “Now they can post in the chat and interrupt whenever they damn well please. It’s madness.”
One college professor, after noticing the jokes and conversations popping up in her Zoom lecture, rolled her eyes. “You can just tell these kids weren’t allowed to have social media until they were sixteen.”
At press time, the teachers’ pets in question were seen frantically replying to one another’s questions in the chat to prove they knew more than the professors.
