New SeaWorld Attraction Lets You Neglect Animals Yourself

a whale jumping out of a tank at the request of a trainer
The new attraction reportedly allows visitors to see the direct impact they can have on sea life.

SeaWorld has announced that they are opening a brand new attraction that allows visitors to neglect the animals themselves.

“We feel that neglecting the animals is a key part of what we do here at SeaWorld, and we want to give this experience to those families that come here everyday,” said spokeswoman Jessica McKowsky.

The new attraction will allow visitors to turn off the lights in the tanks with the dolphins still in it, lock up the doors like it’s the end of the day, turn off the water filters in the seal tanks, and watch fast-forward videos of the whales alone at night.

“I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to be a marine biologist at SeaWorld,” said dolphin enthusiast and second-grader Susan Meyers. “I love this chance to barely care about their health and happiness.”

Around press time, some visitors and staff could be seen smoking cigarettes right next to the tanks.

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