SoundCloud Rapper Signs Record-Setting Deal For Employment At Home Depot

Male Home Depot employee organizing boxes
McBloke was recently seen stealing paint swatches to add to his music video vision board.

Local SoundCloud rapper DJ Smoke McBloke has reportedly signed a record-setting contract to work at the Ypsilanti Home Depot.

“This is such a big move for my career,” said Smoke. “They say Kendrick Lamar got his start at Home Depot, so I’m gonna be on the come up, just you wait.”

The contract he signed is for $10.50 an hour with his own studio that he sets up in the handicap stall in the bathroom. He’s allowed five minutes during shifts to write in there before being required to return to the cash register.

McBloke emphasized how great this signing is, saying the contract allows him three days a month to tour if he calls in early or gets coverage for his shift. His contract, however, does not allow him to use any forklifts in any music videos filmed in store.

“Ever since he got hired, he’s been wearing, like, three gold chains with his uniform,” said Smoke’s manager, Deborah Webster. “I keep having to yell at him for trying to write his SoundCloud on people’s receipts.”

Around press time, Smoke was seen trying to make some new beats with the power saws and hammers.

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