Alabama Once Again Nation’s #1 Football Team Named After Menstrual Cycle

The Alabama Crimson Tide logo
The Crimson Tide attributes its success to players’ use of protective pads.

For the second year in a row, the Alabama Crimson Tide has become not only national champions, but also the best-ranked football team named after a woman’s menstrual cycle.

The team has gained a reputation throughout recent history for being both an undefeated football powerhouse and an unapologetic champion for bringing awareness to women’s monthly menses.

“It’s just fantastic to bring the title back home,” said Jaden Patterson, a junior at the University of Alabama. “It’s a win for Crimson Tide fans
everywhere, and for awareness of the struggles women go through on a monthly basis.”

Feminist groups across the nation have described Alabama’s football victory as a win for women everywhere.

“Most fans don’t even know it,” said Marge Dietrich, an outspoken activist for the National Organization for Women. “But every time they cheer on their home team, they’re helping to take the stigma away from talking openly about periods.”

ESPN analysts suggest that the team’s strength comes from powerhouse coaching, exceptional offense, and the constant reminder that “a woman on her period is the strongest of all.”

At press time, Alabama’s going red in the 2020 election was being lauded as “yet another win for menstrual advocacy.”

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