On a recent visit to the United States, the British variant of COVID-19 was spotted driving on the wrong side of the road.
Known as B.1.1.7, the British variant was first detected in the UK in September. The B. 1. 1. 7 variant is much more contagious than previous COVID variants and allegedly prefers tea to coffee. Onlookers reported that the variant was driving on the left side of the road and seemed confused about the direction of traffic.
“Not only is it a health hazard; it’s a road safety hazard,” said hospital director Ann Locke. “The arrival of the British variant is probably the number-one most serious risk to the American commute. I’d hate to see what would happen if it had encountered our triple roundabout.” The variant was reportedly seen driving a small car that was “unmistakably British.”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” said Dan Rogers, who witnessed the British variant swerving in and out of traffic. “Weird-ass headlights, tiny wheels, kind of square. I knew right away that that was no All-American gas-guzzler.”
The British variant has so far avoided any serious accidents, but local health departments are preparing for its arrival by encouraging mask-wearing and setting up large signs reading “WRONG WAY, BRUV.”
At press time, the British variant was overheard asking for directions to the “car park.”