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The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Harry and Meghan, with son

Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Just Gonna Name The Baby “James” Or Something

Sources close to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have indicated that...

  • Mar 5, 2021

Tesla Releases New Male Performance Enhancer Under The Name “Elongate”

Luxury electric car company Tesla has reportedly released a new male...

  • Mar 5, 2021
Children sitting at lunch table

Fat Kid Talking To Classmate Doesn’t Know Classmate’s Friend Group Already Has A Fat Kid

This Wednesday, witnesses confirmed that third grader Bobby Linders,...

  • Mar 5, 2021
Woodchipper photoshopped inside of corporate lounge

Amazon To Remove Giant Threatening Woodchippers From Employee Break Rooms

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has recently announced that the company will be...

  • Mar 5, 2021
"Jail" space on Monopoly board with dice

Monopoly Jail Privatized

In the midst of continued debates about the ethics of profiting on...

  • Mar 5, 2021
Man with headphones sitting on bench

Man Listening To American Idiot For First Time Starting To Think War In Iraq Might Have Been A Bad Thing

Upon listening to Green Day’s 2004 album American Idiot for the...

  • Mar 5, 2021
A vial of the COVID vaccine, dyed green.

COVID Vaccine To Be Dyed Green For St. Patrick’s Day

  • Mar 5, 2021
A son holds a flashlight for his father, who is working on a car.

Nation’s Fathers Furious After Sons Fail To Hold Flashlight Steady

Fathers across America report that they have “just about fucking...

  • Mar 5, 2021
A sticky note stuck to a computer reading "Wifi Password: rainbow1217"

Family Dog Immortalized In Email Password

The Tyler Family has reportedly honored their late dog Rainbow by...

  • Mar 5, 2021

Man’s COVID Quarantine Lines Up Perfectly With Bad Haircut

Marc Rowland, 21, was reportedly “extremely relieved” at his...

  • Mar 5, 2021
An 'old soul' sits at a table.

Self Proclaimed Old Souls Reportedly Not Eligible For Medicare

A recent statement from the WhiteHouse confirms that “old souls”...

  • Mar 5, 2021
A family plays a board game.

Family Arguing Over Board Game Rules Like They Trial Lawyers

The Oliver Family of West Pine Dr. was seen last Saturday huddled...

  • Mar 5, 2021
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