This Wednesday, witnesses confirmed that third grader Bobby Linders, standard fat kid, is unaware that classmate Johnny Andil is already friends with another fat kid.
Linders has reportedly been talking to Andil for three weeks about his eating and some gross stuff he does when no one is looking. However, Anderson’s friend group already includes Carl Lorentz, who is much more round than Bobby.
“I like Bobby, but Carl is already the fat kid that I’m friends with,” confessed Andil. “Carl has glasses too and wears a striped shirt sometimes. He’s the right fat friend.”
“Well, Bobby could maybe be the friend who wears hats. Wait no, Dan already does that,” said Andil’s funny friend Jameson Panderson. “If Bobby tried, he could maybe be the athletic friend.”
Around press time, Bobby was seen approaching an unsuspecting group of skinny classmates.