Monopoly Jail Privatized

"Jail" space on Monopoly board with dice
The transition to corporate management includes a loophole which allows for an increase in bail to two double-rolls on the dice and also allows for denial of “Get Out Of Jail Free” cards.

In the midst of continued debates about the ethics of profiting on the incarceration of millions of Americans, the jail from the popular board game Monopoly has made the transition to for-profit.

In a move that some Monopoly players are calling “corrupt” and “crooked,” Mr. Monopoly accepted a contract that ensures his complete power over the jail’s operation. The jail was previously in the hands of Atlantic City local government.

“I personally think it’s a great move,” explained Mr. Monopoly, who is expected to profit approximately $152 in colorful little bills per incarcerated person per day. “The way I see it, it’s a win-win. The no-good convicts do their time, and I bring home the bacon.”

Other members of the community have voiced their concerns about the situation.

Thimble, one of the original Monopoly pieces, claimed, “When I first emerged from my mould as a shiny, naive, zinc alloy game piece, I thought I was entering a space where children could safely learn about the ins and outs of buying, trading, and developing property. Now I see that it’s not learning that Mr. Monopoly was aiming for, it’s unadulterated thievery and exploitation of the criminal justice system.”

At press time, Mr. Monopoly was seen pacing Mediterranean Avenue, deciding which rehabilitation programs could be nixed in order to cut operation costs.

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