“Shit, This Paper Is Better Than Mine” Reports Peer Reviewer

A worried man looking at a paper
Pollack reportedly considered that all of his classmate’s previous papers were in fact better than his own as well.

Third year political science major Harry Pollack was left in despair Monday night when he realized, while peer reviewing a classmate’s essay, that the writing was substantially better than his own paper.

“Shit, this paper is so much better than mine,” reported a despondent Pollack. “Damn, I didn’t even think of that. That’s such a good point,” he continued, as he read his classmate’s astute comments on Mitt Romney’s failed 2012 presidential bid.

Pollack was lost on what he should do about his paper in response.

“My God, my paper is so bad. The peer review comments are going to be as long as a book. Actually, I’m not even sure I wrote the right paper,” Pollack admitted, double checking the date of the class drop deadline. “I thought we were on paper #3 but we’re definitely on paper #2.”

“Only way to make this right is to sabotage their paper to make mine look better,” said Pollack as he inserted inappropriate words throughout the paper that he hoped would go unseen. “If I can ruin this paper then at least my grade will be closer to the class average.”

With the deadline fast approaching, Pollack was seen fluffing his 500 word paper to meet the 1500 minimum word count.

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