A local cluster of Mediterranean recluse spiders was shocked last Tuesday to find flustered students emerging from the shadows of their nest. Upon further investigation, the spiders discovered that the origin of the unwanted pests was a university library.
The eight-legged creatures made the decision to temporarily shut down the nest until measures were taken to clear the area of “dangerous vermin.” The arachnid community is reportedly lamenting the temporary closure of their common spaces, especially since the pandemic has forced so many to remain reclusive in their own webs.
“When I saw the first one, I was a little bit grossed out, but not too worried,” claimed one spider. “But they just kept coming. We knew we had to shut down, as to not run the risk of anyone getting hurt.”
The arthropods hope to have the infestation sorted out soon in order to resume normal nest activities such as producing silk and eating their partners after intercourse.
“I’ve lived here for twenty- five years, right in the corner of the fourth floor. Doing my thing, making webs, and eating flies,” claimed local recluse spider, Eric. “And now I’m being told there are undergrads in this place? It’s ridiculous.”
When reached for comment, human librarian Eli Anderson said, “We apologize for any inconvenience we caused to our arachnid neighbors. Our presence in the area will soon be exterminated.”
