Ann Arbor Prisoner Certain He Sent To Wrong Big House

A man in an orange jumpsuit behind the gates of the Ann Arbor Football Stadium.

This past Tuesday, the Ann Arbor Police Department allegedly received a notice from inmate Boris Lachlan stating that he is certain he was imprisoned in the wrong “Big House”.

Lachlan was convicted of larceny in early April and sentenced to three months’ imprisonment. However, his letter claims that he was sent to live “in a football stadium” instead of a cell at the Washtenaw County Jail.

“I don’t mean to complain,” wrote Lachlan. “There’s lots of open space to run, plenty of exercise equipment, awesome views, and I think it’s a wonderful facility. But when the police told me I was going to the ‘Big House,’ I have to say I was expecting the slammer, not Michigan Stadium.”

“The officer told me I was going to have plenty of space to roam around where I was headed, and I thought he was just being sarcastic,” continued Lachlan.

The Ann Arbor Police Department released in a statement that the blunder was a result of “human error”. The department cites a similar incident where an officer incorrectly interpreted the phrase “Stoney Lonesome,” and subsequently incarcerated a man inside a cave.

At press time, a warden was seen releasing Lachlan by having him sprint through the Stadium’s tunnel and burst through a paper banner.

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