Lavender-Infused Stuffed Animal No Match For Area Woman’s Tuesday Night Freakout

A lavender scented pig that looks in disarray.

The lavender scented plush pig belonging to junior Paula Webster was reportedly not up to the task of soothing her latest Tuesday night meltdown.


“My mom got me this to help me relax,” Webster commented, indicating the purple cuddle buddy, “which it usually does, especially when I put it in the microwave for a few seconds, and it gets all toasty. But not last Tuesday.”

After finding out that two of her backpacked courses had been removed from the course guide the night before her registration appointment, Webster’s reaction was beyond the capabilities of the herbal squish toy.

“I just lost it. I mean, I had hand-picked those classes,” she continued, “and I was so stressed and irritated that I felt like the little guy was mocking me. Like it was saying, ‘how dare you not feel calmed by me, you monster.’”


The pig sustained minor injuries from being thrown at the wall in frustration.


Webster has since begun exploring meditation, exercise, and aromatherapy socks to try to calm her nerves.

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