Glass Animals Fall Off Stage, Shatter

Other indie bands have reported attempts to mimic the move but are unable to break the same artistic barriers.

Underclassmen attending the Glass Animals concert at the Crisler Center have reported that upon finishing their set this past Thursday, the band members proceeded to fall off the stage and shatter into pieces.

“I just thought it was, like, part of the song at first,” said Russell Mylovich, a freshman in attendance, “But it was definitely less vibey than the other parts of their set.”

“They’re just so innovative. No other band would break into a million pieces like that,” reported junior Brandon Bonch, “This is so much better than when I saw the Rolling Stones. They crushed the entire first row.”

Students close to the stage are also claiming pieces of the drummer have lodged into their legs. LSA freshman Sydney Scott said, “I literally have shards embedded in my ankles. Do you think I can sue over this? Kind of worth it to hear ‘Heat Waves’ in person, though.”

After the show, the custodial staff came by to sweep the band into a dustpan and dispose of them safely.

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