Report: Guy In IMSB Screaming For Some Reason

Two men lifting weights in gym and one man is really excited
“Blood-curdling” screams were also heard in the weightlifting areas of the CCRB.

According to recent reports from students at the University, some guy on the squat rack at the Intramural Sports Building keeps screaming for some reason.

The student, identified as Economics major Tim Corbin, has been reported to be screaming as loud as possible every two to three minutes while squatting.

“I swear to God, I almost pissed myself the first time I heard it,” commented freshman Abby Smith. “I was just minding my own business on the StairMaster, and this guy just drops his weights and screams like a goddamn banshee.”

“I barely have the confidence to walk in the door of the gym,” said senior Tara Leanne. “I just don’t get how someone wants to be the center wants to be the center of attention that badly.”

Some students were reportedly concerned for Corbin’s safety. “The only time I’ve ever heard a scream like that was in my nightmares,” noted sophomore Sandra Cain. “I thought the poor man had pushed all his organs out through his anus.”

Employees at the IMSB have reported that the screams sound “like someone busted a nut” in the middle of the gym. The same employees allegedly considered posting “No Screaming” signs, but decided not to after considering that Corbin may not even realize that he’s screaming.

At press time, Tim Corbin was heard screaming as though his family had died.

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