Friends of the residents of 552 Packard St, Apt 4D have begun to note that the formerly-adorable bar cart in the living room has become “a source of concern, to say the least.”
“At the start of the semester, we were all so jealous of it,” remarked habitual visitor Julia Marne. “It was the prettiest gold bar cart, with beautiful glasses, funny cocktail napkins, and all kinds of fancy syrups and garnishes arranged on it. I mean, where does one even buy elderflower syrup? We would make ourselves an elegant little cocktail with just a shot of top-shelf liquor and an edible flower floating on the top.”
“Then, around the week before midterms, things started to get a little less classy,” noted Marne. “The top-shelf alcohol ran out and somehow was replaced with fifteen half-full bottles of the cheapest stuff you can buy, and the glasses and edible glitter got moved to make room for solo cups and flavors of Svedka that shouldn’t legally exist.”
Marne continued in detail: “Now, it just hurts to look at. The whole cart is sticky now, with ping pong balls and empty vape pens stuck to it with dried-up Diet Coke. It’s pretty clear this is used for function rather than style these days.”
“It’s a shitshow, man. They’ve completely lost all sense of self,” said one associate. “That bar cart used to be a Pinterest-perfect centerpiece. Now, it’s just the sole reason Sarah’s hiring a cleaning service over Thanksgiving break.”
