As A Leftist, I Think We Should All Be Ethically Nonmonogamous

By A Straight Man Who Just Wants To Cheat

Listen, I get it. Hey, I’m the first one to admit I speak from a place of privilege as a heterosexual, cisgender, Caucasian male. But, trust me, I’m one of the good guys. That’s right. Now, just hear me out. Ethical nonmonogamy has gotten a bad reputation recently as “just another way for people to cheat on their partners without having to admit they’re cheating.”

But that’s not true. As a proud leftist, I believe that all people should be nonmonogamous, not because it would get me more pussy, but because it’s beneficial to everyone, including the women I’m fucking. I mean, my various partners.

Just look at history. Who can deny the success of nonmonogamous relationships in foreign cultures? Once you ignore the stuff about harems and sexual slavery and the centuries of subjugation of women, you get to all the cool stuff from the 60’s!

And Free Love was totally valid, as we would say today. Did most leftist movements ultimately fail by not incorporating intersectional feminism in their organizations, thus splintering the cause until it was rendered ineffective? Yes, but being poly means I don’t have to sleep with just my wife forever, and that’s what really counts.

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