Just in time for the holidays, CEO Bob Iger of The Walt Disney Company has announced his plans for a minimalist rebranding of their streaming platform into what will soon be called Disney Minus.
Reports claim Disney Minus will offer viewers the very least of what Disney has to offer, from one-second Pixar shorts (starting at $1) to trailers for decade old movies (starting at $1.99).
For $11.99 per month, viewers can have access to one Disney Princess movie (subtitles not included), one Star War (subtitles not included), a compilation reel of two of Stan Lee’s cameos (abridged), and one never-before-seen still image of the now discontinued “Disney Channel Games.” For just $13.99 per month, fans will enjoy access to even less (half a Star War).
“For $5 extra we’re offering that one Zach and Cody Pizza Party Game from everybody’s childhood,” Iger declared. “You won’t be able to actually play, but you can swipe through pictures of the different levels.”
At press time, Disney executives were discussing reducing the video display size and removing audio from important dialogue in their films.