Report: Every Lanky Man Looks Like Randall From “Monsters Inc.”

A lanky man looking mischevious.
Skinny men have welcomed the change, saying it’s “better than the cinnamon from the Apple Jacks commercials”.

A new Yale study released this week reveals that every “tall, lanky man with bad posture looks like Randall from ‘Monsters Inc.’” 

According to Yale anthropology head Sharon Greenfield, “People spend hours ruminating over who these lanky men remind them of. We have discovered that the characteristic slouch of these men as well as their general demeanor is reminiscent of the lizard-like antagonist Randall from ‘Monsters Inc.,’ played by famed actor Steve Buscemi.” 

Researchers began studying the resemblance between the human male form and that of the reptilian Disney villain after noticing similarities in the chameleon cartoon’s relatively flexible musculoskeletal system. 

Reportedly, lanky men across the world are posting on social media about how pissed they are to be compared to and sometimes mistaken for Randall. One anonymous Twitter user said, “wtf i dont look like that purple motherfker. he do be shmoovin tho.” 

At press time, Yale anthropologists were seen investigating the visual and anatomical links between big, burly men and James P. “Sully” Sullivan. 

Related News