Climate Change Prompts Record-Low Thunderstorms In Rainforest Cafes Nationwide

A warmer-than-average seven-day forecast overlaid against the rainforest cafe
The change in weather has also led to an increase in cyclones’ power and frequency.

In line with changes in weather patterns around the globe, family restaurant chain Rainforest Cafe has reported that their staple in-house thunderstorms have slowed to a halt.

Nicole Santos, a waitress at the chain, said, “We’re lucky if we get one storm a week, let alone every time a family comes in to dine. This is the driest season I’ve ever experienced in my time here.”

The resident animatronic jungle animals have ceased their every-so-often outburst of energy what was once exactly every twenty-two minutes. Additionally, the talking Tracy Tree, who is located in the restaurant’s gift shop, has allegedly resorted to begging customers for water.

The shift in the cafe experience has customers divided. Some parents expressed that the were pleased they no longer had to leave the restaurant with scared children when the storms were more frequent. Others, however, feel that the food’s pricing doesn’t match the new atmosphere.

“I’m paying $18.99 for an appetizer and no show,” said upset parent Jim Holden. “The cafe needs to quit pushing this agenda and go back to that crazy rain.”

At press time, Cha! Cha!, red-eyed tree frog and face of the brand, was reportedly preparing to testify to Congress in support of the Green New Deal.

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