A recent survey conducted by The New York Times found a strong correlation between men who wear a mask under their nose and men who pee with their pants around their ankles.
Dr. Martin Hamilton, a professor of Behavioral Science at Purdue University, explained that these findings confirm what most Americans already knew: “Anyone who doesn’t understand how to wear a mask right also has absolutely no idea how to behave in a civil society.”
Hamilton explained the feeling one gets of staring down a man in a public space with his sniffer protruding his mask apparently “elicits the same neurological response as seeing a grown man walk up to a urinal in a public restroom and drop trow all the way down to the floor, exposing his poop shoot to the world.”
“This makes total sense. If you’re one of those weirdos that doesn’t mind their schnoz poking over their mask, then you definitely don’t have a problem exposing your bare tushy to the world as you relieve yourself because you are a child,” stated one Twitter user after reading the findings.
The Washington Post also plans to conduct a similar survey soon to determine whether there is a correlation between women who wear masks under their chin and women who play their music through speakers in public instead of headphones.