Local resident Thomas Graves, 42, was reportedly robbed at knifepoint last weekend as several squirrels in the park looked on and did nothing.
Graves was forced to give up several of his possessions, including his wallet, watch, and wedding ring, while 11-12 squirrels “didn’t even lift a finger.”
The rodents watched as the father of four tearfully complied with his hooded assailant without as much as blinking a dark, beady eye.
“Don’t just stand there! Attack!” cried the PTA board president as the squirrels stared back at him with cold indifference.
Graves reportedly walked home “without a friend in the world” as the woodland creatures ignored him to resume their hibernations.
The alleged attacker was seen counting the money in his victim’s wallet as the squirrels counted the acorns they’d stowed away for the winter.
The squirrels were later seen not really seeming to care about the couple being intimate in the bushes near them.