College Board, the nonprofit behind the SAT, announced plans to phase out the controversial Battle Royale section of the college admissions test by 2030.
This section, formerly required by many top universities, placed hundreds of high schoolers in arenas around the country to engage in Hunger Games-style brawls for mortal supremacy.
“Our goal has always been to keep this examination relevant,” commented Priscilla Rodriguez, College Board’s VP of College Readiness Assessments. “With schools going test-optional, we see that pitting kids against each other in a battle to the death is no longer a necessary gauge of college readiness.”
Although pleased by the announcement, proponents of the change say it is too little too late. “Decades of research have shown that this brutal contest of blood and wits isn’t a pedagogically sound assessment of intelligence,” commented college counselor Maya Dunn.
Critics fear this change will make college admissions too subjective. “The SAT has long been a foolproof way to ensure that only the most cunning and ruthlessly resourceful attend top institutions,” commented Harvard graduate, and lone survivor from his high school class, Tim Wacknick.
College students expressed mixed attitudes towards the change. “I just wish this change would have come sooner,” remarked Yale Freshman Kyle Otte, eyes glazed over. “I think this is good, but we’ll have to see if future students perform the same having not experienced the cutthroat atmosphere of a battle arena filled with bloodthirsty peers.”
At press time, rival test ACT, has not indicated any intention to remove their gladiator battle section.
