Um, Hello? I’m Wearing A Scarf 

A man wearing only a scarf.

Woah, what’s everyone freaking out about? Is something wrong? Why is that woman screaming? Did someone just get attacked or something? I’m so lost, man. What do you mean, “You’re fucking naked, get out of this airport?” Um, hello? I’m wearing a scarf. Duh. 

You guys sound kind of dumb right now, if I’m being honest. I mean, sure, you can totally look up my background, but you’re not going to find anything. Yes, I am from Florida, but I don’t see how that’s relevant. Look, I don’t know if you know what naked means, but last time I checked, naked people don’t wear clothes, man. 

Okay, okay, my hands are up. But someone’s gotta explain what’s going on. You literally can’t even see my neck. Do you want me to put on a hat or something? This is crazy. This is the USA, this shouldn’t be happening. I’m gonna be the first man in America who’s been arrested for wearing clothing. You’re probably going to want to get a lawyer. When we’re in court, the cameras will show that I was dressed this whole time. Good luck fighting the evidence. 

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