Nation’s Future Resting On Three Republicans Again

A congressional hearing.
Americans were once again “overwhelmed with relief” after the three GOP senators barely scraped up an ounce of common sense.

 Following the news this week of a split Senate Committee to confirm Biden’s Supreme Court Justice nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson, it appears that the fate of the nation is once again resting on the shoulders of three Republicans. 

“Our great nation has a history of relying on a few Republican senators to settle major political decisions,” reported Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. “We must hear this constant denial from the other side in order to have democracy.”

“I can think of nothing more American than relying on three people to make a decision that will impact the lives of millions of people for decades to come,” said Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor.

“This is exactly how democracy is supposed to work,” reported multiple Fox News commentators throughout the past weekend. “It’s what the Founding Fathers would have wanted.”

At press time, the trio of Republicans deciding the country’s future were seen conferencing on which children’s books about diversity to cite in their argument for or against confirming the nominee. 

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