Alzheimer’s Grandma’s Super Secret Recipe

An older woman in a bucket hat presses her face to a baby doll.

Ingredients:
• 1 pair of reading glasses! Ha!

• 1 large onion

• 3 cloves of garlic

• 12 sticks of butter

• 1lb frozen dinosaur breast

• 1 large onion

• 3 cloves of garlic

• 13 sticks of butter

• Sunday’s contents from the weekly pill organizer

• Band-aid

• Oh wait… there’s more….

Directions:
• Preheat convection oven, toaster oven, shower, hot plate, flat iron, wood-fired pizza oven, and electric oven to 500 degrees F

• Prep the meat

• Swaddle hunk of beef in a baby blanket and carry it around indefinitely

• Hide it

• Spend some time looking in the mirror. Add in delusions. Bring erratic behavior to a boil and confuse your reflection with the ghost of your Great Aunt Bonnie. Panic for 15-20 minutes.

• Once you have your dough, roll it out on a lightly floured surface until it roughly fits the shape of your pan. Once it’s rolled, lift it, black out, and let the memory of it slip away. Pizza dough is sturdy, so don’t worry!

• Soil self

• Go for a walk outside

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