Ugh, so embarrassing! Famed samurai warrior Eto Hiyedori honorably commited ritual suicide while surrounded on all sides by his Mongol enemies right before one of them farted really loud.
Said Mongol warrior Oghul Beg, “Aw, god, it was fucking hilarious, dude. Totally killed the serious vibes of the moment for, like, five seconds before we went on to slaughtering everybody. Sucks that Eto left before he could see it.”
We’ve been there! Apparently, the toot was on everyone’s Snapchat stories at the battle and went semi-viral on Samurai Twitter. Hiyedori definitely would’ve rethought his move if he knew he could get some sweet Twitter clout for it.
Moriyama Ryōi, a fellow Samurai on the scene, said right before his untimely death at the hands of the Mongols, “Yeah, man, that’s why I was never into the whole seppuku thing. Good for him, I guess, but at least I got a good chuckle before taking a composite bow to the chest.”
We know that wherever Hiyedori is in the afterlife, he’s absolutely kicking himself for not being there.
