For the first time in twenty years, the exchange rate between the Blue Buck and the U.S. dollar has reached parity, with one U.S. dollar equaling exactly one Blue Buck.
The Blue Buck, the official currency of the University of Michigan, is down about 19% on the year, as economists raise concerns about rampant inflation on campus. “Look, I wasn’t that concerned when tuition increased another 3.9%, but $3.50 for a Cheese slice at Joe’s?! The end is nigh, mates,” warned professor Justin Wolfers.
In response to inflationary pressures, the University’s Central Bank announced it would begin selling Blue Bonds en masse as an effort to restrict the supply of Maize Money. When asked her thoughts on the Bank’s new policy, student Julie Gould repeatedly asked, “Why can’t we just print more Blue Bucks?”
A poll of business students reflected a surprisingly bullish stance on the Blue Buck. “The global Forex market is literally worth 2,409,000,000 Blue Bucks right now, this dip is a perfect opportunity to get invested. It’s basically free money, dude,” said Tyler Robbins, summarizing the group’s perspective. This sentiment was mirrored by a group of “Zuckerberg- esque” COE freshmen who were noted to be “wired in” while in the Markley computer lab mining Blue Bucks.
Despite concerns about the future value of the Blue Buck, Dining Dollars remain at all-time highs, reflecting consumer confidence in the quality of dining hall food. Alternatively, the value of Spartan Cash is at an all-time low following reports of “PB&J quinoa” being served in Michigan State University dining halls.