Stranger’s Dog Definitely British

A dog with bad teeth.
Witnesses reported later that a passing Golden Retriever was “obviously a Republican.”

Area dog Martin Butlair was noted by many students around campus to be “clearly British” as he sauntered across the Diag last Tuesday morning. There was certainly a bit of poshness to the pup as a variety of sources muttered.

“He was walking with his chin so high up and his booty perched like he was wearing high heels,” LSA Junior Jeff Gorep stated, “The posture alone was incredibly British.”

Sources confirmed, as the pooch pawed across Burns Park, that dog was definitely of the Anglo-Saxon assortment.

Ross sophomore Hannah Smut, detailed that it “seemed like the dog should’ve been wearing a monocle and top hat based on his aura.”

Butlair’s owner, Susan Butlair, was reportedly confused by the public’s reaction to her dog. She detailed, “He’s just a confident pug. He’s not British at all. If anything he’s probably a bit gay.”

Butlair confessed plans to put Martin in a wool sweater in the winter as the pug has little fur and gets cold. She did detail though that this may add to people’s suspicions that Martin is British even though “Americans wear wool sweaters too.”

At press time, Martin Butlair was seen gracefully licking a Starbucks Puppuccino with his pinky paw bean up.

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