MPrint User Apparently Single-Handedly Responsible For Climate Change

The MPrint homepage, showing a metric fuckton of paper usage.
Thurston was reportedly chased out of CVS after attempting to purchase a $1 water bottle.

LSA sophomore Mike Thurston reported last Wednesday that the MPrint site was making him feel “weirdly guilty and responsible” for the devastating effects of deforestation. 

The site, which contains a few blurbs telling its user how much paper they’ve used and what percentage of a tree it’s equivalent to, was described by many students as “guilt-trippy,” especially at a university whose endowment is tied up in oil reserve futures. 

“It said I used 0.045% of a tree to print out my final thesis on mitigating the effects of climate change on the coral reefs or some shit,” reported SEAS senior Margaret Reilly. “I had no idea I was single-handedly responsible for the destruction of the Amazon.” 

A few students have noticed that hovering over the environment blurb introduces even further detail: “Did you know there were eight families of endangered birds living in that tree? Your printing output just killed one-sixth of a baby bird.” 

The latest reports indicate that the server power necessary to power MPrint is worse for the environment than all users’ paper usage combined. 

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