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An iPhone displays Hinge on the App Store.

Report: Hinge ‘Designed To Be Deleted’ Because It Full Of Uggos

A new report from the University of Chicago revealed that the popular...

  • Feb 23, 2023
man with arm around woman walking on the beach at sunset

Girl Discovers That Her Six-Month Exclusive Situationship Is Actually Her Boyfriend

On Tuesday, LSA sophomore Alexis McArthur was stunned after learning...

  • Feb 23, 2023
clogged toilet

Concerns About Intruders After Roommates Collectively Deny Clogging Toilet

This past Wednesday, LSA senior Kiara Morris reported concerns about...

  • Feb 23, 2023
Uninstalling grammarly off of a computer

“I’m Just Smarter At Grammar,” Says Freshman English Major While Uninstalling Grammarly Extension

After successfully completing English 125 with a B+, intended English...

  • Feb 23, 2023
Alligators swimming in moat in designated bike lane

Ann Arbor To Replace Bike Lanes With Alligator-Infested Moats

A recent document from the City Planning Commission of Ann Arbor has...

  • Feb 23, 2023
The University of Michigan North Campus School of Information Building

University Cancels Construction Of New School Of Information Building: “We Have Learned All The Information”

Reports are indicating that the university has canceled construction...

  • Feb 23, 2023
The University of Michigan Union with slot machines and a naked student

Sober University Events Incentivize Attendance With Titties, Gambling, Hedonism

In efforts to provide safe, substance-free activities for students,...

  • Feb 23, 2023
Man drinking from plastic water bottle

Friend Who’s Been Too Busy To Drink Sees Drastic Health Improvements For No Reason

LSA senior Sebastian MacKenzie has reportedly given up drinking due...

  • Feb 23, 2023
Cocaine Bear (the bear that did cocaine) at the University of Michigan Winterfest playing broom ball

Cocaine Bear Relapses At Winterfest

Following his feature film debut, formerly sober star Cocaine Bear...

  • Feb 23, 2023

An Argument For More Female Astronauts

On July 20, 1969, human beings made history when the first man walked...

  • Feb 23, 2023

Protect The Third Amendment!

Boy, do I have something to get off my chest. I am utterly disgusted...

  • Feb 23, 2023

“Wouldn’t You Like to Know”

What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three...

  • Feb 23, 2023
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