Dad’s Favorite Discovery Channel Show Just Got Weirder

A group of five men pose on a fallen tree.
Jones confirmed that “the guys” will be digging up some huge rocks this season.

Area dad Dennis Jones reports that the new season of his favorite Discovery channel show, “Men In The Woods,” is packed full of men doing “potentially dangerous stuff” outside.

The show follows the life stories of ten middle-aged men in Alaska as they do “crazy epic man stuff.” They drink beers, get in snowmobile accidents, and “will probably need to rebuild their house this winter.” One of them reportedly has a family with twelve children which are all named after adjectives. As tradition with previous seasons, the plot is “questionable” and every commercial break ends on a dramatic cliffhanger.

This season, the character “Rob” will be making his first comeback after police found thirteen sawed-off shotguns in his home in season one. After three seasons, he still refuses to share his full name “until Bill Clinton acknowledges his half-son.” His toothless grin is a favorite with the ladies, namely his ex-wives and twin sisters Tammy and Lisa Mae. “Rob” has most recently been spotted in some candid pictures with Kaia Gerber.

“I thank superstition for my success. To this day I’ll never walk under a ladder or wear underwear” said “Rob” in what is a rare quote, given that he only does interviews with “hot blondes with big tits.”

The show is predicted to be heard around the world when Dads everywhere turn it on at max volume and then fall asleep.

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