Protect The Third Amendment!

Boy, do I have something to get off my chest. I am utterly disgusted at how this country has turned its back on some of its core principles. The bill of rights is supposed to be the highest law of the land, but when the third amendment is repeatedly ignored, no one bats an eye. 

It all started in 2018 when I was working to become the night shift manager at Long John Silver’s. According to my wife, I “wasn’t around enough” and “couldn’t fulfill her sexually”, so she had no other option. 

Now, if all she was doing was having sex with this guy behind my back that’d be one thing. But now he’s being quartered in my house! I don’t know how many of you are third amendment scholars, but this is a clear violation of my rights as an American citizen.

I’ve asked him nicely to let me back in the bedroom, but he says I don’t understand what it’s like to serve, and that he’s earned certain privileges. The worst is when he comes into Long John Silver’s with my wife and gets a military discount.

I’ve tried to reach out to third amendment groups, but apparently there aren’t any.

Open your eyes America! Your unalienable rights are going to disappear one by one, and it all starts with this goddamn soldier fucking my wife.  

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